I like to use a metaphor popular in Satir theory to prepare families for some discomfort as we move through the therapeutic process. Virginia Satir compares the strings of a mobile to family rules about what and how family members communicate. She says, when the strings of a mobile are at the correct lengths, the mobile achieves balance, but if the lengths of the strings change, the mobile is no longer balanced (Satir, 1988). Similarly, we assume roles and communicate with our family members in ways that maintain family balance. In other words, we do what we have always done.
I like to tell my clients, “Like the strings of the mobile, if just one family member’s patterns of communication or ways of behaving are different, the family is out of balance.
In therapy, we are going to try different ways of communicating, which might get uncomfortable.”